Is gaslighting a problem in my marriage?

Domestic abuse can be both physical and emotional in nature. Gaslighting is one tactic that abusers use to make the victim question reality and their interpretation of events. Gaslighting involves lies, manipulation, and can be a valid reason for divorce for many couples. Psychology Today explains more about gaslighting so you can tell whether it’s taking a toll on your marriage.

Codependent relationships involve an unhealthy dynamic where one or both partners rely on each other to have all their emotional needs fulfilled. In abusive relationships, the person doling out the maltreatment is usually in control of the other partner, who looks to the spouse for acceptance and support. The victim of abuse will do all that he or she can to get the other person’s approval in this case, including putting up with poor treatment and lies.

Lies are a gaslighter’s favored method of marginalization. Constant lying prevents the victim from having a sound mental foundation, and can even make the person call their sanity into question. Lies are often used to create a specific picture, one that paints the victim as a bad or untrustworthy individual. At some point, the victim may give into the illusion, which only exacerbates the effect of the gaslighting.

Abusive relationships are always entirely bad. Abusers are very cognizant of the fact that even the littlest bit of positive attention can sway the victim, especially after prolonged mistreatment. Of course, some couples choose to work through these issues with the help of counseling or marriage therapy. Others see divorce as the only reasonable option, in which case a family law attorney should be consulted for the best possible results.